Musings Of Curly Tops

Life is too short, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.



What Doesn't Kill You Makes You...STRONGER!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

I have always liked Kelly Clarkson and her songs, maybe because one can relate to her songs and may have experienced the hurt and being broken at some point in one's life.  

One of my all time favorite is Behind These Hazel Eyes, a song about being broken-hearted and trying not to show the hurt inside.  About being torn into pieces and not showing how you cry on the inside.  Relate much?? 

Now Kelly has a new song (at least new to me) and I also like it.  This song is about being hurt, recovering and healing and coming back Stronger.  What doesn't kill you makes you STRONGER! ;)  <3 it!!! 

And here are my fave lines... 

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone"


Thirty-something and single

Friday, March 30, 2012

I saw a friend of mine post this article in FB and somehow related to it.  Yes, I'm thirty-something, though I keep on celebrating my 26th birthday (LOL), and very much SINGLE.  It's good to know that I'm not the only one single (and not dating *sigh*) at this day and age.  Somehow there's a comfort in that.  At least I know I'm not a fluke in our gender ;)

Ok, back to the article... here it is:

The Single Thirtysomething Female Phenomenon

Reasons why there are more single women in their 30s than ever before.

During our grandmothers’ generation, it was unheard of that a single woman could be happy in her thirties. At the same time, she was already deemed an “old maid.” Women were usually married by the age of sixteen or eighteen. Marrying in your twenties was considered pushing it, even. Today, however, marrying in your thirties isn’t just normal, it’s expected. If you marry in your early twenties, people assume you are either pregnant or immature and have no drive to pursue a career. How times have changed.

Independent women
“There’s a certain group of women that is very independent and mature. These women will not settle for anything less than their ideal,” says Herald Cruz, certified life coach and head of the parenting cluster of the Center for Family Ministries (CEFAM) of the Ateneo de Manila University. “It boils down to their value system which is to focus on their career. Today’s women are more empowered and aware of women’s rights. They think, ‘What men can do, we can also do.’”

A 37-year-old single woman shares, “I prayed for joy in my life and I learned enough to use my gifts to bless children and families. I designed a career that fulfills my life purpose and demonstrates values I hold dear. My career is my contribution to my community. Marriage didn't come up, but I don't feel any less blessed.”

“I figured out late in life what I wanted to do, and I was in a relationship at the time,” shares a 33-year-old single woman. “However, having had most of my decisions made for me by my parents when I was younger, when I finally realized what I wanted to do, I wasn't going to let anything get in my way. So I was even willing to sacrifice my relationship because I needed to accomplish my dreams or I knew I'd regret it for the rest of my life.”

Intimidated men
Melissa Pizaña-Cruz, Cruz’s wife of 18 years, certified life coach and co-head of the parenting cluster of the Center for Family Ministries (CEFAM) of the Ateneo de Manila University, says that some men may be intimidated by successful and powerful women. “Men want to feel that they have a significant contribution to the relationship and they don’t want to look like they’re ‘under,’” she explains.

“You are also becoming stronger and less in need of a man,” adds Cruz about empowered single women. “You can unconsciously repel or drive them away. Men get insecure, they want to be needed, they want to protect. If women give off this façade saying, ‘I don’t need you,’ it would take a real man to push through it.”

Where are the men?

According to Pizaña-Cruz, the later a woman starts looking for a husband or a boyfriend, the harder it is to find one because you’ll have less choices. “The successful men are usually in a serious relationship already,” she says. “It’s like a pyramid and the choices at the top narrow.” At the same time, she adds, “In your thirties, you’re already set in your ways. You’re more picky and you don’t really settle.”

“Maybe it's for lack of trying?” surmises the 33-year-old woman about why she’s still single. “Or the fact that it's hard to find a good man these days.”

“I’m not married because I didn’t have anyone I wanted to share my life with,” says the 37-year-old woman. “There is no sad love story, no boy who didn’t return my feelings or betrayed me. That’s why I don’t envy my friends who married happily ever after.”

In the end, it’s a decision you make, and the good thing is we women have more choices now than we’ve ever had. And I’m pretty sure our grandmothers not only agree but are extremely proud of how far we’ve come. 

I particularly liked the last part... "in the end, it's a decision you make, and the good thing is we have more choices now than we've ever had"... 


it's over...

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I'm so proud of myself! I stood firm and said NO.  I've been saying NO for a while but I admit, I have faltered several times. I'm sorry, but this is it.  I want something more... something you can never ever give me.  I just have to let go of whatever it is that we have... I don't want to just settle with what scraps you can give me... I don't want to be in the "mean time" stage... I want to be THE ONE.  You can never make me that, never.

Goodbye, something (someone) I used to love...

-- to my fave pair of shoes -- 


this blog should be called "musings of a confused girl" instead...

Thursday, February 16, 2012

    Why am I here?  What is my purpose in this lifetime? Why do I sometimes feel so empty  inside?  As if there's something missing... something even I cannot identify what it is... All I know is it's not in my life right now.  Do I sound so pathetic? Yeah, I probably do.  Is this what they call a midlife crisis?? Ugh!! I hope not, I don't think I'm that old to even have one.  LOL! I just feel like I'm in this crossroad and I don't know where to go.  Come to think of it, maybe this is not even a crossroad... because if it's a crossroad, I would have choices or options to choose from and I'll know where each road is headed.  Nope that's not it.  It's as if I've been walking on this particular road and I don't know where it is headed.  I don't even know where I am going and where I want to go.  Maybe at some point I know where I want to go, but I'm not sure if this is the right road going there... is this a short cut, a long detour, or totally the wrong way?

     I know, these are quite tough questions even I don't have answers to.  I don't even know why I'm asking myself these questions, must be because I feel so down, lonely and useless sometimes.  Or is it because of too much stress at work? Or maybe I'm jealous with other people's lives especially seeing how accomplished they seem and how they have something/someone to work or live for?  Or is it because I have been longing to have that "fairy-tale-happy-ending" that I have been missing for 9 years now?  I know, "fairy-tale-happy-endings" are not true, but what I meant is having someone you love and loves you back.  Or is it because I just feel so confined, even strangled that I can hardly breathe?  Maybe I have been feeling like this in a long time and I just want to get out of it?  But how?  How do you get out of that situation? Or maybe because I miss my family so much it hurts and that I want to be with them so bad? I think it may be all of the above...

     Are you surprised that I'm a bundle of knots?  I do hide it well with smile and laughter, and I convince myself that I'm contented with what I have and where I am right now.  I guess I am, to a point.   I feel I'm very lucky to have a good job and I'm earning decently.  And for that I'm already more than thankful.  But... yeah, there's a but.  *sigh*

I hate this....

Monday, January 16, 2012

   I don't like feeling like this... I don't like waiting for something that might not even come.. One of the reasons why I like being in my current status is the fact that I get to be on my own, not needing something/someone.  I hate it!

my Gong Yoo 2012-2013 calendar

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

   I'm so happy, I got my Gong Yoo calendar today care of Rachel.  She went to Korea over the weekend and was able to buy calendars for Melai and I Yay!!! Btw, thanks to Kalamay Addict for letting me know about Rachel's trip and telling her to buy me one too ;)  This made my day when I got it yesterday.  You can see this calendar on my desk and I can see Gong Yoo everyday for 2 years!! LOL!!! 

This is before a pinky swear, not picking his nose! LOL!!
I love his smile here :):)


I wish...

Saturday, January 7, 2012

   I wish I have the power to freeze time... I wish I can stay longer with my family... Ugh!! I can't believe how fast that 3 weeks went! Today is my last day here in Virginia with my family and I really don't want to leave yet, but I have to.  I'm going to miss them again terribly... *sigh*

   My flight tomorrow is at 6:10am, and I have to leave at least 4am. I don't think I'd be sleeping tonight cause I still have to finish packing, though I already did most of it last night.  I'm not really looking forward to more than 24 hours of travel time and going back to work after a few hours I've arrived in Singapore... *sigh*